I chatted with Alisha Carlson of Find Your Thrive, and I’m super excited to share our convo with you.
She’s a fitness + nutrition + mindset coach for women and mom of two kiddos: an 11-year-old daughter and 8-year old son. She teaches ambitious women how to simplify their exercise and nutrition so they can do the things they love without feeling like they’ve added one more thing to their already full plate.
I loved chatting with Alisha! When we briefly connected before the interview, I knew it was going to be a good conversation. And hey, she lives in Oregon, which is SO on my list.
We chatted about motherhood, business, and embracing whatever may be thrown our way.
Let go of your expectations.
One interesting thing that seems to come and go as moms (even throughout the same day) is the question of, “Am I messing it up?” I’m not home right now for my kiddos–am I messing it up? I didn’t chop extra greens super small into their mac ‘n’ cheese tonight–am I messing it up? I’m literally not that into this school project, but hey, I’ll head to the park with you! Am I messing it up?!
And that’s when we need to say, “I’m not.”
When Alisha was first nearing labor with her daughter, she remembers this feeling creeping in. She remembers questioning if she was qualified, being nervous about what kind of mom she may be. She thought, “What if I totally mess her up?”
And one day someone told her something that changed her perspective forever: Just let go of your expectations.
So during the entire labor process, Alisha let go. And she says she firmly held onto this notion throughout parenting.
“It’s good to have standards, but I wouldn’t say that standards and expectations are the same.”
Instead, define your standards.
Alisha also got me thinking about comparison. Comparison is human nature. It’s how we learn, strive, discover our desires, and build wants. But comparison can be harmful, and it’s hard not to compare these days when with just the click of a button we can see millions of pristine-perfect images in a matter of seconds.
But how much does comparison help us? Think about how you compare: do you take the comparison and digest it into a place of having less–or a place of I want to grow into that/strive for that/work toward that. And I will! I’d be willing to bet the truly powerful use the sneaky human nature of comparison more to their advantage.
Alisha explained to me that standards are things she’s willing to fight for. Expectations, on the other hand, are external pressures, like comparison. Comparing your kid’s outfits, house, job, etc. to someone else’s–that’s setting some unnecessary and unhealthy expectations. Setting guidelines for your own life and what you want–that’s giving you standards to build (not destroy) a life around.
Focus on engagement vs. perfection.
This word play really struck me–we chatted about what letting go of expectations and what things should look like really started to feel like. We chatted about the poison of perfection, and what actually works.
“It hasn’t always been that way. It’s really come by way of the last three years of work I put in. I started working on my mindset. I wasn’t just trying to be a fit and healthy-looking mom on the outside, but truly a healthy mom from the inside out.
I was my own project. I had a pivotal moment where I realized I wasn’t changing that much. I wasn’t engaging. And, without engaging (just like in fitness), you’re not going to have the same results.
Alisha says she’s a better woman than she ever was before having kids. She’s a better mama for striving to chase her dreams and follow her business passions helping other moms! I believe it!
I’m excited to chat more with Alisha on my own fitness goals and plans. Subscribe for updates and to catch us live chatting for more!